Signs and symptoms that sexual abuse is occurring

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Signs and Syptoms that That Sexual Abuse is Occurring *Behavioral signs. Does the child display knowledge or interest in sexual acts inappropriate to his or her age, or even seductive behavior? A child might appear to avoid another person, or display unusual behavior- either being very aggressive or very passive. Older children might resort to destructive behaviors to take away the pain, such as alcohol or drug abuse, self-mutilation, or suicide attempts. Caregiver signs. Does a caregiver seem unusually harsh and critical of a child, belittling and shaming him or her in front of others? Has the caregiver shown anger or issues with control in other areas? If you have a gut feeling that something is wrong, it is better to be safe than sorry. Even if you don't see the whole picture, others may have noticed as well, and a pattern can help identify child abuse that might have otherwise slipped through the cracks. http://www.helpguide.org/mental/child_abuse_physical_emotional_sexual_neglect.htm (1-21-09) ______________________________________________________________________________ Back to the Top Concerning Madison* My brother had voiced his concern when he was noticing certain alarming behaviors in his daughter (and in Ashley and Robert Meek). Madison showed behavior that mimicked oral sex by sucking on a microphone (attached to a new piano he had given her for her birthday) when she was around 4. When he asked her what she was doing she said she was sucking it. And then took the toy into the corner and continued with that behavior. One time my brother witnessed her maternal grandfather also put a book down his pants for her to retrieve. We have not seen Madison very frequently because of her mother isolating her thus making it impossible to interact with Madison or for Madison to interact with us and talk to us about her life about what she does each day. When my mother and I had been visiting with Madison (during her first two years of life) I did have a bad gut feeling .Paul Terjelian (my niece's maternal grandfather) greeted me with a big hug for the first time meeting me and my mother. He is the man who told my brother his daughter was aborted. The hug was not meant to welcome or show affection toward me (a female), rather I took it as a means of intimidation. I had a bad vibe about him and the residence. During one of our visits (in 2004 shortly before the last time I saw her), I recall Madison on the floor playing she turned toward me, looked me in the eye, and put her hand on her groin area and said OW . She was trying to communicate to me that she hurt in her genital area.. This has stuck in my memory BECAUSE it was weird that Madison was trying to communicate this to me and it was weird that Ashley and her father saw her do this, and just ignored it. During our 1 hour visits per week with Madison (not much time), we played with her in their living room or outside. When Paul Terjelian (and others were there), they sat on the couch avoiding interaction (and eye contact) with us and Madison, paced in and out of rooms, and ignored us and our play with Madison. Not once did they engage in play with Madison when we were there playing with her. We never felt comfortable or welcome they did not want us there. When Madison was playing and laughing and having fun with us Ashley would be staring meanly or jealously. I remember one time Madison wanted to show her mother something she was so proud of and she excitedly kept saying mom!?... mom!?... mom! walking after her---and her mother ignored her and walked down the hall. In Dec. 2004, Ashley suddenly told us we were no longer allowed to visit with Madison and gave us no explanation why. After we had been bonding and connecting with our relative (my mother's granddaughter and my niece) for over a year, we are taken out of her life and she is isolated to only the relatives on the Terjelian side (view police documents, showing the long-term violence in the Terjelian family). In December 2004, I went to Ashley's place of employment (the deli in a grocery store) and the first thing she said to me was what can I get for you? I told her I wasn't there to buy food and wanted to know how Madison was. She didn't want to talk to me and within 5 sentences said, Leave now, or I'm calling the cops. So I left with great concern for my niece's whereabouts and safety. Ashley was fired from her job shortly after this and blamed me for her termination, lying about me causing a scene at her work. Any scene that was created was caused by her, and her employer told us that she did not get fired due to an outside source yet her records for her termination remained sealed. The second time she actually did call the cops on us (for no reason, aside from the fact that she is a controlling, aggressive female and using law enforcement to help her hid her daughter by crying harassment! and saying she is fearful of us.) was on March 5, 2005 when my mother and I tried visiting with her on our regular day (as we had been for over a year.) On this day she created a huge scene in front of Madison. Paul Terjelian was also inside the house with Madison, while Ashley had a fit on her front porch as my mother and I tried to leave. She even threw a shovel in a burst of rage. My little niece was standing in the window in front of the curtain with her hands pressed against the glass looking at us probably wondering what was going on why were we leaving? Why was her mother so upset? At some point, someone (PT?) yanked her out of the window and from that day it was at least a year until my mother saw her again, and 2 years (not until Jan. 7, 2007) for me. The next time I saw her was in April 2008. When I saw her on Jan 7, 2007 she did not look good. She was pale, withdrawn, very timid she had virtually no sparkle in her eyes. (View the video to see Ashley's, Robert's and an unidentified female's behavior that was dangerous and life-threatening in front of my niece and other children present at the Burger King that day.) In July 2008, I stopped for a creemee with my niece following a walk we had taken by the river. While in the car, exiting the parking lot, she was a boy (about 11 yrs old) without his shirt on, and only shorts. She saw him and said, Ewww. I said, What's ewww honey. That boy. What about him? I asked. He's naked. I said, he's not naked, he's wearing shorts. Well, he's half-naked was her response. I said, why is that ewww? Because I don't like naked boys. was her response. (I'm driving on the road at this point heading home...) I asked her where she saw naked boys (because clearly she had or she wouldn't have pointed out a half-naked boy. I asked her if she saw naked boys and men? She said yes. I said you have? Where? I had to ask her more than once and assure her that she was safe with me, and that it was ok to tell me. She said, sometimes but not all the time at my house. (Her EXACT words) I asked her who...and she said she didn't want to talk about it. I told her it was ok to tell me. She paused a moment, and said a name (which I do not recall and I also felt like she was making this name up or using the name of someone she knows). I asked her who that was and she said a friend. I tried asking her more questions (as I'm driving and she's in the back seat, but she didn't want to talk about it was making her upset and uncomfortable and asked if we could stop talking about it so I did.) Upon arriving at my parent's house, she started having a panic attack in my car. She said, Aunt Kim... and I looked back and she was VERY upset an shaking and tried to comfort her by reaching my arm out to her. Larkin had come to the car at this point and I told him she was upset and he also tried comforting her. We then drove to Essex Junction (to a grocery store parking lot (not the Essex Jct. Police station) at Ashley's demands where we (my father, mother, myself and brother) were verbally assaulted and attacked. Robert exclaimed She's my f$#@%ing daughter!] and that we are all going to jail. I pointed out that this was not ok behavior in front of children and they didn't care. Ashley then assaulted Larkin by hitting his hand causing for an audio tape recorder (a tool were trying to use as a form of protection and to capture their out of control behavior) to fall to the pavement and break. Madisons younger sister was also in the car at this time. With this information, I was now more concerned than ever because my niece spoke the words to me that she sees naked men and boys, sometime but not all the time at my house and shortly after had a panic attack. I thought that finally we have enough evidence to present to DCF. This is not the first time I have contacted DCF concerning my niece And this is not the first time DCF has been contacted regarding my niece (other people have reported as well). I thought that finally, they would help us. But during an interview with an intake worker (Rebecca Alterman) at DCF, I knew our pleas were falling on deaf ears. When I told her what my niece had told me regarding seeing naked men and boys at her house...Rebecca Alterman asked me is it possible she just saw them at a pool? What kind of question is this? What pools does she go to where naked men and boys are present? Ashley Terjelian and Robert Meek and Patrick Duxbury (and others in the Terjelian circle) were made aware of these confidential reports and they were made aware of what my niece was saying to us when she visited with us. DCF sent my brother a two line letter saying that there was no reason to substantiate abuse. Shortly after they were notified of our reports to DCF ( July 2008), Ashley stopped allowing for visits to take place. We have not seen Madison since late July 2008, even though the court order for visitation is still in place and she is AGAIN in contempt of court ordersShe is AGAIN isolating her daughter from her father and other relatives concerned about her well-being. (Written by Kimberlee Forney on January 24, 2009) Back to the Top

Signs and Syptoms that That Sexual Abuse is Occurring

Behavioral signs. Does the child display knowledge or interest in sexual acts inappropriate to his or her age, or even seductive behavior? A child might appear to avoid another person, or display unusual behavior- either being very aggressive or very passive. Older children might resort to destructive behaviors to take away the pain, such as alcohol or drug abuse, self-mutilation, or suicide attempts.

Caregiver signs. Does a caregiver seem unusually harsh and critical of a child, belittling and shaming him or her in front of others? Has the caregiver shown anger or issues with control in other areas?

If you have a gut feeling that something is wrong, it is better to be safe than sorry. Even if you don't see the whole picture, others may have noticed as well, and a pattern can help identify child abuse that might have otherwise slipped through the cracks.

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/child_abuse_physical_emotional_sexual_neglect.htm
(1-21-09)

______________________________________________________________________________

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Concerning Madison

My brother had voiced his concern when he was noticing certain alarming behaviors in his daughter (and in Ashley and Robert Meek). Madison showed behavior that mimicked oral sex by sucking on a microphone (attached to a new piano he had given her for her birthday) when she was around 4. When he asked her what she was doing she said she was sucking it.
And then took the toy into the corner and continued with that behavior. One time my brother witnessed her maternal grandfather also put a book down his pants for her to retrieve. We have not seen Madison very frequently because of her mother isolating her thus making it impossible to interact with Madison or for Madison to interact with us and talk to us about her life about what she does each day.

When my mother and I had been visiting with Madison (during her first two years of life) I did have a bad gut feeling .Paul Terjelian (my niece's maternal grandfather) greeted me with a big hug for the first time meeting me and my mother.
He is the man who told my brother his daughter was aborted.
The hug was not meant to welcome or show affection toward me (a female), rather I took it as a means of intimidation.
I had a bad vibe about him and the residence. During one of our visits (in 2004 shortly before the last time I saw her), I recall Madison on the floor playing she turned toward me, looked me in the eye, and put her hand on her groin area and said OW . She was trying to communicate to me that she hurt in her genital area.. This has stuck in my memory BECAUSE it was weird that Madison was trying to communicate this to me and it was weird that Ashley and her father saw her do this, and just ignored it.
During our 1 hour visits per week with Madison (not much time), we played with her in their living room or outside. When Paul Terjelian (and others were there), they sat on the couch avoiding interaction (and eye contact) with us and Madison, paced in and out of rooms, and ignored us and our play with Madison. Not once did they engage in play with Madison when we were there playing with her. We never felt comfortable or welcome they did not want us there. When Madison was playing and laughing and having fun with us Ashley would be staring meanly or jealously. I remember one time Madison wanted to show her mother something she was so proud of and she excitedly kept saying mom!?... mom!?... mom! walking after her---and her mother ignored her and walked down the hall.

In Dec. 2004, Ashley suddenly told us we were no longer allowed to visit with Madison and gave us no explanation why. After we had been bonding and connecting with our relative (my mother's granddaughter and my niece) for over a year, we are taken out of her life and she is isolated to only the relatives on the Terjelian side (view police documents, showing the long-term violence in the Terjelian family).

In December 2004, I went to Ashley's place of employment (the deli in a grocery store) and the first thing she said to me was what can I get for you?
I told her I wasn't there to buy food and wanted to know how Madison was. She didn't want to talk to me and within 5 sentences said, Leave now, or I'm calling the cops. So I left with great concern for my niece's whereabouts and safety. Ashley was fired from her job shortly after this and blamed me for her termination, lying about me causing a scene at her work. Any scene that was created was caused by her, and her employer told us that she did not get fired due to an outside source yet her records for her termination remained sealed.

The second time she actually did call the cops on us (for no reason, aside from the fact that she is a controlling, aggressive female and using law enforcement to help her hid her daughter by crying harassment! and saying she is fearful of us.) was on March 5, 2005 when my mother and I tried visiting with her on our regular day (as we had been for over a year.)

On this day she created a huge scene in front of Madison. Paul Terjelian was also inside the house with Madison, while Ashley had a fit on her front porch as my mother and I tried to leave. She even threw a shovel in a burst of rage. My little niece was standing in the window in front of the curtain with her hands pressed against the glass looking at us probably wondering what was going on why were we leaving? Why was her mother so upset? At some point, someone (PT?) yanked her out of the window and from that day it was at least a year until my mother saw her again, and 2 years (not until Jan. 7, 2007) for me. The next time I saw her was in April 2008. When I saw her on Jan 7, 2007 she did not look good. She was pale, withdrawn, very timid she had virtually no sparkle in her eyes. (View the video to see Ashley's, Robert's and an unidentified female's behavior that was dangerous and life-threatening in front of my niece and other children present at the Burger King that day.)

In July 2008, I stopped for a creemee with my niece following a walk we had taken by the river.
While in the car, exiting the parking lot, she was a boy (about 11 yrs old) without his shirt on, and only shorts. She saw him and said, Ewww. I said, What's ewww honey. That boy.
What about him? I asked.
He's naked.
I said, he's not naked, he's wearing shorts.
Well, he's half-naked was her response.

I said, why is that ewww?

Because I don't like naked boys. was her response.
(I'm driving on the road at this point heading home...)
I asked her where she saw naked boys (because clearly she had or she wouldn't have pointed out a half-naked boy. I asked her if she saw naked boys and men?
She said yes.
I said you have? Where?
I had to ask her more than once and assure her that she was safe with me, and that it was ok to tell me.
She said, sometimes but not all the time at my house. (Her EXACT words)

I asked her who...and she said she didn't want to talk about it.
I told her it was ok to tell me.
She paused a moment, and said a name (which I do not recall and I also felt like she was making this name up or using the name of someone she knows).
I asked her who that was and she said a friend.
I tried asking her more questions (as I'm driving and she's in the back seat, but she didn't want to talk about it was making her upset and uncomfortable and asked if we could stop talking about it so I did.)

Upon arriving at my parent's house, she started having a panic attack in my car. She said, Aunt Kim... and I looked back and she was VERY upset an shaking and tried to comfort her by reaching my arm out to her. Larkin had come to the car at this point and I told him she was upset and he also tried comforting her.

We then drove to Essex Junction (to a grocery store parking lot (not the Essex Jct. Police station) at Ashley's demands where we (my father, mother, myself and brother) were verbally assaulted and attacked. Robert exclaimed She's my f$#@%ing daughter!] and that we are all going to jail. I pointed out that this was not ok behavior in front of children and they didn't care.
Ashley then assaulted Larkin by hitting his hand causing for an audio tape recorder (a tool were trying to use as a form of protection and to capture their out of control behavior) to fall to the pavement and break. Madisons younger sister was also in the car at this time.

With this information, I was now more concerned than ever because my niece spoke the words to me that she sees naked men and boys, sometime but not all the time at my house and shortly after had a panic attack. I thought that finally we have enough evidence to present to DCF. This is not the first time I have contacted DCF concerning my niece And this is not the first time DCF has been contacted regarding my niece (other people have reported as well).

I thought that finally, they would help us. But during an interview with an intake worker (Rebecca Alterman) at DCF, I knew our pleas were falling on deaf ears.
When I told her what my niece had told me regarding seeing naked men and boys at her house...Rebecca Alterman asked me is it possible she just saw them at a pool?
What kind of question is this? What pools does she go to where naked men and boys are present?

Ashley Terjelian and Robert Meek and Patrick Duxbury (and others in the Terjelian circle) were made aware of these confidential reports and they were made aware of what my niece was saying to us when she visited with us. DCF sent my brother a two line letter saying that there was no reason to substantiate abuse.

Shortly after they were notified of our reports to DCF ( July 2008), Ashley stopped allowing for visits to take place. We have not seen Madison since late July 2008, even though the court order for visitation is still in place and she is AGAIN in contempt of court ordersShe is AGAIN isolating her daughter from her father and other relatives concerned about her well-being.

(Written by Kimberlee Forney on January 24, 2009)

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